Some State of Mind

It's been a long time since I wrote my last post. I have been going through a complete 100% transformation into my new being. If you don't know the old me, check the old blog posts; they will give you little insight into my mind. As for now, I can only hope to create the person I have desired to be.

I chose to write tonight for the simple reason that I just felt like it. I was in the mood for one of my rants on the trials, tribulations, and wonders of life. I have yet to come up with any answers. I do have three books on the LSAT's and many wonderful stories on the rendez-vous with the garcons I have met this year. All of these cats deserve their own blog post for the sheer insanity of their antics. But for the mean time, I will focus on me.

So where am I at? In my bedroom, looking at my amazing chart trying to memorize the "proper" way of dissecting an argument. This is very dangerous. I already possess the skills of a mad debater looking through clues in people's words so I can snatch their sanity and yank their control from under their feet. Now I have the tools to fully kill a person's opinion. And I do so with many tactical methods at my disposal. Variations in words have a strong effect. I wish more people would understand that; it would lead to more interesting conversations. But for the mean time, I just laugh. I can only hope that one day people will read my scheming and STOP! But human nature and ignorance are always to my advantage.

I have been watching a lot of "Dexter" for the past few days, and he has inspired me. It's funny I say that because he is a walking contradiction in it of itself, but he just speaks to me in a way that many people would not get. My feelings, those pieces broken inside me, are just that: pieces. When it comes down to it, they don't mean anything. I have tried to "pretend" for many years thinking of ways to care the way "normal" people care, but I just don't give a fuck. I make that clear to everyone I meet because I want them to see me for the arrogant, narcissistic bitch that I am, but they always end up falling for the smile or the eyes. They think, "I will change her," but all I do is play. I treat them like toys and leave them in the rain when I want to do something else. Disposible they all are. And I don't feel anything.

Let's correct that; I feel inspiration running through my veins. I want to be the best. I want to be remembered in history. I want the world to grovel at my feet every time they see me. And I want to be alone. So what's my state of mind? Dazed and confused.

Surf the Channel- Another Companion

One of my other companions on this trip is "surfthechannel.com." If anyone knows anything about me, the one thing they would know is how much I love television and media. Growing up and watching The Simpsons, I grew fascinated and obsessed with media. I would literally watch 5-8 hours of television a day, sometimes to the wee hours of the morning. Since it's important to me, I have found a way to keep it in my life.

When moving to Honduras, one of my many concerns was, "What the hell am I going to about television and movies?" Then came the wonderful world of surfthehannel.com. I had heard it from a friend, don't remember who, and so I took it upon myself to find this website where the magic happened. I was not disappointed!

Every movie and television show I can think of can be found in this website. Any documentary, funny item, anything (except "The Devil Wears Prada") can be found. And for every item I see, there is always something interesting to say.

On that note, this marks the first item about surfthechannel.com section. There will be many more commentaries about the website, and what's on it. Check it out and see if you can find your long lost brother!