I have been seeing a few men since I was left by my fiancee. Now, I am over my fiancee. After a while of complete isolation from him, I was able to just numb the feelings of love I once felt for him. This is quite interesting because in all honesty, I am still hung up on the feelings, but when I am told that I am loved, I feel nothing. I feel a sadness that is losing such a great love, but the truth is simply that life goes on and we must adjust to the circumstances of life.
Now, I am seeing a number of different people. I refuse to have the same circumstances that I had the past seven year because life happens now and once you experience a part of life that you have had a chance to live to the fullest, you move on to something completely different. It's quite interesting that I had such a serious relationship when I was young because I was able to experience and realize that relationships are not for me. Becoming a player in the process of dealing with the circumstances of life can have some serious consequences. Like for example, sleeping with a complete stranger. It's not the most breakthrough moment you can have; not even a simple common sense moment you can create for yourself. You simply end up feeling the same way because you gave it up with someone who has no recollection of the person you are. It's almost a sad part of life seeing people hook up in order to find some importance in their life. And it's true. If you were a true man, you would find someone that can fulfill your life, instead of finding people who mean absolutely nothing to you.
Like I said, I am drunk. Certain things can be talked about while being drunk, and this is one of them. I don't know who will read this, but I do know that the truth is being spewed each time that you read my blog. And this is one of them. I went from a seven-year relationship...to one-night stands...to I don't know. Now I look for the balance of whore and saint. Could you be more phony? I don't know....Being a whore my whole life, I don't know what else to be. But at the same time, I am a wife with the ability to care for a man better than any single woman out there. Yet, here I am in the same spot as I was seven years ago. And I am smarter, sexier, and better than I have ever been. When you are called a "dime piece" by a complete asshole that takes advantage of women, you know you are doing something right...but that's another blog-post.
I am drunk and I don't give a fuck. Go fuck yourself because it feels good. And fuck the person next to you because they'll appreciate the offer...just saying...
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