Saturday, December 25, 2010

Drunk blogging....

So I am drunk. And I wanted to share with the world just how I feel about my life.

I have been seeing a few men since I was left by my fiancee. Now, I am over my fiancee. After a while of complete isolation from him, I was able to just numb the feelings of love I once felt for him. This is quite interesting because in all honesty, I am still hung up on the feelings, but when I am told that I am loved, I feel nothing. I feel a sadness that is losing such a great love, but the truth is simply that life goes on and we must adjust to the circumstances of life.

Now, I am seeing a number of different people. I refuse to have the same circumstances that I had the past seven year because life happens now and once you experience a part of life that you have had a chance to live to the fullest, you move on to something completely different. It's quite interesting that I had such a serious relationship when I was young because I was able to experience and realize that relationships are not for me. Becoming a player in the process of dealing with the circumstances of life can have some serious consequences. Like for example, sleeping with a complete stranger. It's not the most breakthrough moment you can have; not even a simple common sense moment you can create for yourself. You simply end up feeling the same way because you gave it up with someone who has no recollection of the person you are. It's almost a sad part of life seeing people hook up in order to find some importance in their life. And it's true. If you were a true man, you would find someone that can fulfill your life, instead of finding people who mean absolutely nothing to you.

Like I said, I am drunk. Certain things can be talked about while being drunk, and this is one of them. I don't know who will read this, but I do know that the truth is being spewed each time that you read my blog. And this is one of them. I went from a seven-year one-night I don't know. Now I look for the balance of whore and saint. Could you be more phony? I don't know....Being a whore my whole life, I don't know what else to be. But at the same time, I am a wife with the ability to care for a man better than any single woman out there. Yet, here I am in the same spot as I was seven years ago. And I am smarter, sexier, and better than I have ever been. When you are called a "dime piece" by a complete asshole that takes advantage of women, you know you are doing something right...but that's another blog-post.

I am drunk and I don't give a fuck. Go fuck yourself because it feels good. And fuck the person next to you because they'll appreciate the offer...just saying...

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Coming back from Hiatus...Part 2

I've decided to keep my blog and not start a new one. I wanted to start fresh since the life I created seven years ago went up in smoke like my J. But I cannot leave my blog for the sake of some asshole. Instead I have decided to vamp it up with new ideas for the mind and soul.

My focus has turned to something other than Honduras as I have returned to California with a new found freedom that will only lead to more adventures than I can fathom. At first I thought that my ex-fiancee was the reason for my adventures, but the truth is that I am the reason for my adventures because I have taken the plunge into unknown territories in hopes of finding more meaning to my life.

As of right now, my focus has been on partying and meeting men. I am honest with this because I don't like being a liar on my blog. It's fucking stupid and I refuse to be lying about my endeavors. I have met many men with different backgrounds, tastes, and ways of treating women. I gotta admit, I am not impressed by the selection, but everyday there is improvement. We shall see what arises.

In the mean time, I will continue to educate the masses on books, music, movies, and anything that I feel is essential to the overall progress of the world. We are surrounded by ignorance, so let's do our best to shed light on the truth; it is our best friend in the end and the only companion we will have for the rest of our lives and eternity.

My focus has turned to music. I bought the new Kanye West album...but that shall be discussed in the next post. To give an idea about my feelings of Kanye West...he speaks to my generation of people. I am not talking about the hoes or the street pharmacists, the pimps and gang bangers. I am talking about the educated minority that have been trapped by the stereotypes set forth by the white man and by ourselves. He speaks in a way that makes so much sense to me. He speaks the truth; it is raw and it is extremely controversial, but it hits you and you can't deny it. As the days follow, each song off my "Dark Twisted Fantasy" will be dissected to the point of no return in hopes that one can understand the true meaning of art and how it can be disguised as commercial hip hop. Please get ready and enjoy the show!