Sunday, July 18, 2010
Does anyone even know what that means?
I've been inspired at this moment to write about how much I hate people. I started thinking about my time in high school and I couldn't help but say, "Man, I hate people!" Now what does that have to do with the word loner? Well I think it goes hand in hand with my complete distaste in the "collective" mindset.
Now before you stop reading this, I will explain thoroughly what I mean by the word "people". This means any kind of group, three or more. This also includes when I am a part of a group of three or more in a setting where we are allowed to speak loudly. The reason this is so irritating to me that I have to touch on such a powerful feeling is because the constant, non-stop, deliberately bitchy attitude that I see from groups of people. Sometimes it's very apparent while other times it seems to come out of left field.
The one thing I can't stand most about groups of people is the judgment. I think its one of the most annoying feelings to have when someone is judging you, let alone a group of fucking people. I mean I truly hate having to see the glare of condensation from certain groups. It almost makes me want to scream, "FUCK YOU!" while giving them the middle finger and telling them all of their indiscretions because they are no fucking saints themselves. That's how much I hate groups of people.
And to make matters worse because the crowd relies so heavily on numbers, the more people in the group the more willingness to act the same, so there is more judgment passed on to you.
So I often avoid settings where I will find myself engulf in the feeling of judgment. If that makes me a "loner" then I guess I am a loner. But I still feel the same way and none of these feelings ever change regardless which setting I put myself in. In high school, I was the one being judge. In Roatan, I was the one judging and the one being judged.
So to end my small post, I will say this...
1. I hate groups of people.
2. I am a loner because I hate groups of people.
3. I like being a loner.
Now there are many reasons why I am a loner, but for now this is just one.
So as I head out to the beach, I will take my book to read and swim in order to have my "loner" time to myself. And I hope that I won't get hit on today...