"Lonely, I'm Ms. Lonely..."

When I hear this song, I think about the life I left behind to come back home. My mind changed the moment I got on the airplane, but sacrifices are what make us stronger.

Coming home has warped my mind in many different ways. You see things are the same. I have my room. I have my family. I have everything that I left behind the first time I left the nest. But things just seem different. Everything is different. I am different. And as much as I would like things to be the same, they are not the same.

I remember reading "One Hundred Years of Solitude." I always thought of myself as Aureliano Buendia because he was a miserable person with a calling. He was a general for the liberation party in war with a regime. He was a master at his craft, and he left his family to fulfill his destiny. In the end, he ends up making gold fishes all by himself with no real human connections or feelings. All it ever got him was a lack of compassion or real feeling of connection with humanity. I think of myself in that way simply because in the end I am alone. And I may travel the world, I may make all of my dreams come true, but nothing changes that sad fact of life. So for the mean time, I will continue to accomplish as much as I can and know that I am the only one who can do it for myself. So I am lonely. I'm Ms. Lonely.

When I first saw my family, I was speaking to one of my cousins. She mentioned that I looked sad in all of the pictures I took while I was away. I found it completely ridiculous for this person to know anything about how I felt while I was gone. She didn't even ask me what I did over in Honduras, yet she had this understanding that I was miserable while I was away from my family. To be honest with her and you, there are things that make me sad that will never change regardless of the location of my body. I will always have things in the back of my mind that will make me reconsider every single choice I make in my life. But the truth is that I was very happy living my life and doing EXACTLY what I wanted to do. What I found sad at the moment was the fact that this person was living an empty life full of plastic surgery and drama. Yet, I am the one that "looked" sad. Maybe my eyes are just that way and you've offended me. But of course, they can say what they like and I just sit there staring and judging. C'est la vie.

Inspirations...

I recently acquired a digital camera and have been taking pictures of all sort of things in Roatan. I am used to California's flora and fauna, so coming to a tropical setting has made me completely aware of my surroundings. I've been taking pictures of different flowers and these are few of the pictures that had been edited to look their best. These flowers grow on the island and they are wildly located throughout.

I haven't been able to find the information of the unknown, so just marvel at their simple beauty.

This flower I would call a "bouquet" flower because of its quantity of small flowers in one branch.

This is the "bouquet" flower once it's fully blossomed.

These flowers come in a wide variety of colors, such as pink, white, and red. My personal favorite is this red one that is located in West End near the pharmacy. This red one is enormous and beautiful.

This flower has little yellow flowers growing in its ovary.

My favorite part about this particular flower is the difference in colors within it. There's the hot pink, the red, and the yellow. It all combines to make such complexity to a simple flower.

This tropical flower has the feel of velvet, with deep rich green leaves.

I call this one the "Christmas" flower because it would very well fit to the theme quite beautifully. When you first see them, you wonder whether they are real, but they are so real and so different from anything I have ever seen. I will used them for decorations this Christmas.

This is the Hibiscus flower, one of the most commonly known tropical flowers.

My favorite thing about this picture is the texture of the flower being shown. I also like the shadow of the pistil at the south side f the picture; it adds to the small details.

These are just some of the pictures I have. I guess I have grown inspired to capture all of this beauty before we lose it all. But that's another post altogether. Enjoy!